Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Pick ups...I don't understand...

I’m fairly certain that something happens to otherwise normal men when a pick up truck enters their lives. Over the past two weeks I’ve paid close attention to this phenomenon and I think I’m on to something. It all started one day when I was innocently driving along the turnpike. I noticed a pick up truck with what appeared to be a bunch of those “Christian Fish Symbols” on his tailgate. As I approached this vehicle, I got a closer look. It was actually a bunch of different fish symbols “swimming” to and fro. Some were the traditional Christian Ixthus (fish), then there were some that said “Darwin”, then some that said “Truth”, then some that had the Truth fish eating the Darwin fish, and then there was the one that notified me that something was definitely wrong. It was the Christian fish with the word “Devil” inside. Why? At the top of the tailgate, the words “It’s a Big Sea” were plastered in self-adhesive letters and the bottom of the tailgate said “We should all get along”. Don’t get me wrong, I agree that we should all get along, but I couldn’t get past the mode of the message and I still haven’t recovered from seeing the letters “D E V I L” inside of the Christian fish. Why don’t people who like the devil come up with their own symbol? What ever happened to the pitchfork and horns?

Anyway, the next trucker I saw had an “emblem” that read “When the tailgate drops the bulls#*t stops”. I don’t understand what that means. Can someone please explain?

Yesterday when I pulled into work I parked behind a truck that had an “emblem” on the back window that said, “Ditch the B#*ch, let’s go huntin’”. That’s not nice.

I’ve also seen many pick ups with photos of Osama Bin Laden with a bullet hole in his forehead and many more with cartoon etchings of boys urinating on Chevy signs and Ford signs, etc. I don’t understand all this. What is it with pick ups that makes people act strange? No other vehicle has this, just pick ups. Can somebody please explain?


~Seth & Nancy~ said...

don't forget the stickers of the boy going to the bathroom on the emblem for another type of truck!!
seth's been looking into trucks lately...hmmm...i'll have to keep an eye on it if he does get one!

JD said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
JD said...

Let me help you out. A man once ruled the roost. An American living room had two essential items..a TV and a Recliner. Where was the wife you ask? Getting the man a beer...I too once had a recliner and a BIG TV (never the luxury of a beer fetching wife). You know where those items are today? In the basement . We lost the battle of the home but at least we still had our cars! Not so fast..... We once drove the Sports-car, we lost it to the woman. Then we had the SUV again lost to the woman. We have been only left with the pickup. AHH the pickup...The man's last stand and we are protecting it with our lives ladies. We will stop at nothing to keep you away from our ManCave on wheels. How will we do it you ask...THE BUMPER STICKER! That's right the bumper sticker. We will put on the bumper sticker that repulses the woman in our lives the most just to keep them away. The goal is to put a sticker on the car that will prevent a woman from driving our trucks at all costs. For example..Wendy hates hunting..so I will get the bumper sticker "GUT DEER" . This alone will keep her out of my truck. Just for good measure I have on order the bumper sticker "If I wanted to hear an AHole I'd Fart" or the Classic "BEER..Helping White guys Dance since 1874". I hope this helps.

MaineMomKC5 said...

Dear Deere John:

I got rid of your stupid Barka Lounger b/c the stupid thing reeked of your stupid farts and had stupid peanut shells loaded all over it. It acted as your friend, your napkin, your bed, your sport buddy and your banker.

Plus it didn't match the decor.

On another note, the greatest bumper sticker I ever saw was:

Minivans are tangible proof of evil!

P.S. And if you think beer helps you dance, you must've been drinking O'Douls!

JD said...

Get Me A Beer!

"Wife and Dog Missing, Reward for Dog"

T5M said...


Thank you for the comic relief this morning :-)

BIG Smiles (and giggles from my office - I know people must think I'm whacked)

I can say nothing about the material on the blog, except that I'm not certain that I'm really blood relatives of these people.

Also they live in Maine - that should explain it.

T5M said...

"Gut Deer" ???? ...definitely only in Maine...too funny!! I'm still giggling over that one...

~Seth & Nancy~ said...

your family cracks me up!! i hope they keep on adding comments when you move and they see you on a regular basis!! :-)

barbarakuhn said...

My husband set out to replace his barely-a-truck Sonoma with a car, a Taurus. He returned with a 1/2 car-1/2 truck (Sport Track?). The only sticker we have is for the "dump". They don't pickup the garbage in the country, go figure. I don't drive the truck I don't go to the dump.
P.S. He's thrilled with his purchase, expect when he goes to the gas station.

FloridaMom said...

I think may family is going bonkers!

First I have a daughter that has nothing to do but try to analyze stickers on trucks. Then I have a son that has written the longest comment of his life defending the male gender. Lastly, I have a daughter-in-law that doesn't have a problem explaning to all who choose to read, that her husband's smelly farts are absorbed into the furniture. We look normal, however, the old saying applies "can't judge a book by its cover".