Sunday, July 08, 2007

Meet Dirt:

"Dirt" is actually my husband. From now on, you will no longer hear me refer to the man I love by his "birth name", Jermaine, or otherwise affectionately known as "Jerms". I have renamed him, and the name I have selected, is one that embodies his true essence, "Dirt".
Dirt is the perfect name for my significant other for many reasons. First and most obvious is because he makes Pig Pen look like Mr. Clean. My husband was never on the brink of becoming a metro-sexual, I think he's always viewed personal hygiene as sort of a necessary evil. Now that he's working from home, with nearly every reason for bathing and grooming taken away, he struggles with keeping up on his daily grooming activities. Let's just say that some days I see him coming, some days I smell him coming, and on other days, I hear him coming as his overgrown toenails click against the wood floors.
Here is Dirt in his favorite place (the garage of course), messing with his fishing rod.

This is Dirt's look of pure pleasure.

Here's Dirt, again with his fishing rod in the early AM hours. Dirt's idea of getting a haircut is putting a hat on.

Here is Dirt again, notice how his beard has no beginning and no end. If you look closely, it's actually impossible to tell where the line ends between Dirt's chest hair and his eyebrows - it's one continuous growth of hair.
As the bible says, "the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." - Genesis 2:7
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KC5 said...

I appreciate his conservation techniques. Not using the shower will add years to your leach field!

Kristy & John said...

I too struggle with this. John gets a semi-annual haircut - THAT's IT! Shaves about once a week (and even when he does, these is a beard alreday grown by the time he gets home :-)

The Gawel's said...

I have to say that my husband is most times cleaner then I am. He gets a shower everyday and even showers before working out. I counted one day and I think I was up to 3 showers in one day. If only he could pick up after himself as well as he keeps his body clean. The toe nails are another story, we call them the claw--watch out! I see that Dirt is still smoking, so is Dave---yuck!

MaineMomKC5 said...

As you say Erin:

God made Dirt
And Dirt don't hurt!

~Seth & Nancy~ said...

i was showing seth's mom pictures from the past couple of months. there were some in there from jim and julie's wedding, including the picture of you guys. "erin's such a pretty girl", she said. "and her husband...hmph, he is SO handsome!" (in that "he's so fine" kind of tone!)...i think she even said it a couple of times! she cracks me up!

Trish said...

does "Dirt" know his new name? does he care? you crack me up.

TheKeyRing said...

I often thank God that my husband works outside of the home, which requires him to clean and groom himself regularly. Actually, once he gets started he takes great care in the grooming process (having a lot of anxiety about his hair, or lack thereof) but he does seem to require a reason for the care and grooming.

I am sad to say that I think Jason will be following the rest of them on the path of dirtiness -- he does not care if his clothes match and if I ask him when he last showered his normal response is "recently".

T5M said...

Trish - yes, he definitely knows his new name & he says that he likes it - he thinks it's "earthy". I don't know if he really likes it or not, he's pretty apathetic about it.

He found this post wildly entertaining, it had him cracking up.

Dirt isn't very complex.

T5M said...

Nance- that's too funny. Dirt definitely has the market on 50+ white women locked down. My mother's best friend once said, "He's sooo sexy". My 52 y.o. co-worker just yesterday told a room full of women how "good looking" he is, she was like, "have you seen her husband, he's ump (she made the noise that one would make after biting into some delicious desert product).

The baby boomers love him!

T5M said...

...oh, and did I mention that I always liked Seth's mom? ...Bev rocks!

~Seth & Nancy~ said...

bev made that same sound that your co-worker made! i didn't know how to spell it though :-)

T5M said...

...maybe they think he's literally made out of chocolate?