"Dirt" is actually my husband. From now on, you will no longer hear me refer to the man I love by his "birth name", Jermaine, or otherwise affectionately known as "Jerms". I have renamed him, and the name I have selected, is one that embodies his true essence, "Dirt".
Dirt is the perfect name for my significant other for many reasons. First and most obvious is because he makes Pig Pen look like Mr. Clean. My husband was never on the brink of becoming a metro-sexual, I think he's always viewed personal hygiene as sort of a necessary evil. Now that he's working from home, with nearly every reason for bathing and grooming taken away, he struggles with keeping up on his daily grooming activities. Let's just say that some days I see him coming, some days I smell him coming, and on other days, I hear him coming as his overgrown toenails click against the wood floors.
Here is Dirt in his favorite place (the garage of course), messing with his fishing rod.
This is Dirt's look of pure pleasure.
Here's Dirt, again with his fishing rod in the early AM hours. Dirt's idea of getting a haircut is putting a hat on.
Here is Dirt again, notice how his beard has no beginning and no end. If you look closely, it's actually impossible to tell where the line ends between Dirt's chest hair and his eyebrows - it's one continuous growth of hair.
As the bible says, "the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." - Genesis 2:7