I'm a failure. Yes, Dirt is going to love this post. You win. There, I said it. You are the master of all things, oh mighty one of great stamina and willpower and I am lowly and meek.
Okay, I'll start at the beginning: At the end of the year Jerms took a look at our spending and tallied up our Dunkin Donuts expenses. As it turned out, we spent $1400 at D&D on our bank card alone. We guesstimated that we probably forked over another $200 in cash, leaving the grand total somewhere in the neighborhood of $1600 in Dunkin Donuts expenses for the calendar year 2007. (Here, we hang our heads low).
With great fury and determination, we made a pact that we would no longer spend our hard-earned money at D&D. However, Jermaine (knowing that he was personally responsible for at least $1500 of the $1600) nervously threw out a caveat, "how about we limit ourselves to $10 per month".
I agreed, knowing that I wouldn't ever dip into the $10 safety net. Let me just enlighten you on the Moore Family coffee habits. Jerms is known at the local D&D. He has personal relationships with the staff, they know how he likes his coffee prepared and have even been known to give him an occasional freebee. He sometimes goes twice per day. I, however, get an occasional iced coffee. My habits vary greatly. I can drink an iced coffee every day for a week and then not have one for two weeks. No problem for me to quit (or so I thought).
Some perspective: Have you ever gone on a diet? If so, you'll know that the day you decide to diet is the day that you are the hungriest you have ever been. And so it has been with my iced coffee addiction. Starting on January 1st, I have longed for iced coffee. My new route to work takes me past three D&D drive-thrus. THREE! Each day I have to talk myself out of stopping at all three. It's like there is a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other and I go back and forth rationalizing why I should/shouldn't stop. I'm borderline schizophrenic over it. I have tried to supplement my D&D Iced coffee with Cumberland farms (crap) and Starbucks (expensive). I have even succumbed to asking people to buy these treasures for me!
All this, and Jermaine asserts that he hasn't even thought about D&D. He claims to be just as content making his coffee at home or stopping at the local gas station. Blasted!
The highlight of this "competition" came a few weeks ago when Avery had an 8am basketball game. We ran out of the house without Jerms getting a coffee. I desperately tried to conceal my confident smirk, knowing that across the parking lot from Avery's game was a D&D. There was a game at 8am and 10am - this would mean the Jerms would have nothing to do between 9 and 10 - there was no doubt in my mind that he would break down and walk over to D&D during the break between games to satisfy his daily caffeine fix. Once he broke down, I would be free to stop for my beloved iced coffee whenever I pleased! Victory was mine!
However, much to my chagrin, Jerms did not succumb to his caffeine urges.
Today, as I drove past the 3rd D&D, weakened by my impending migraine headache, I decided that I would pack my pride in my pocket and stop in for a D&D iced coffee. I rationalized that it was medicinal (those who get migraines understand that caffeine can sometimes help ward off a headache). I also rationalized that I truly had spent more money avoiding D&D by buying people lunch to reciprocate for them buying me an iced coffee and stopping at Starbucks for a $5 java chip. I paid cash just in case my conscience would allow me to conceal my stopping. No chance.
I am the loser. I suppose I can live with that.