Last week I told someone that Dirt was "charmed". He isn't, but seriously though, it's almost like he is. ...and for this, I despise him. But for everything else, I love him. Sound complex? It is. You know how "they say" you should keep your enemies close? ...well I took that literally and married mine.
Last Monday I had a smug look on my face when I told Audra that Dirt was at his all time heavy weight. She couldn't help but let the smile sneak out. But then I warned her not to get too happy because by this time next week, he'll have lost those 7 pounds and be right back down to his regular weight.
12 pounds. That's how much that sucker lost in 1 week. Twelve ridiculous pounds. No exercise involved here, just living and eating how normal people eat (fruits & veggies every day, then for dinner maybe some steak (from the meathouse, and not palm-sized, either) and a spinach salad (with dressing). Oh, and also a steak burrito one night and a brownie on another night.
Then to top it off, he says, "Oh, well the scale must've been wrong the first time I weighed myself". (The scale wasn't wrong! It's never wrong - trust me). But this is why I hate him. First, he loses 12 pounds then he has the nerve to not tell me (I had to ask) and then he doesn't even take credit for it (or at least give credit to the Lord) - he totally downplays it, like he does with every other thing in his life. Downplayer!
I guess that makes me a "Downplayer hater"?