Monday, April 21, 2008

Charmed

Last week I told someone that Dirt was "charmed". He isn't, but seriously though, it's almost like he is. ...and for this, I despise him. But for everything else, I love him. Sound complex? It is. You know how "they say" you should keep your enemies close? ...well I took that literally and married mine.

Last Monday I had a smug look on my face when I told Audra that Dirt was at his all time heavy weight. She couldn't help but let the smile sneak out. But then I warned her not to get too happy because by this time next week, he'll have lost those 7 pounds and be right back down to his regular weight.

12 pounds. That's how much that sucker lost in 1 week. Twelve ridiculous pounds. No exercise involved here, just living and eating how normal people eat (fruits & veggies every day, then for dinner maybe some steak (from the meathouse, and not palm-sized, either) and a spinach salad (with dressing). Oh, and also a steak burrito one night and a brownie on another night.

Blasted!

Then to top it off, he says, "Oh, well the scale must've been wrong the first time I weighed myself". (The scale wasn't wrong! It's never wrong - trust me). But this is why I hate him. First, he loses 12 pounds then he has the nerve to not tell me (I had to ask) and then he doesn't even take credit for it (or at least give credit to the Lord) - he totally downplays it, like he does with every other thing in his life. Downplayer!

I guess that makes me a "Downplayer hater"?

8 comments:

~Seth & Nancy~ said...

i remember seth was sweating it a little bit back when they had the joe focht mp3 bet going! atkins seemed to do the trick for him :-)

Audra said...

Jeramine is my arch enemy!! jermaine at least gloat a bit and say ha ha I lost 12 lbs. You make it worse when you don't even gloat

~Seth & Nancy~ said...

i just noticed the picture...that's from jim's wedding isn't it?

T5M said...

Yes it is. Didn't you remember him having a pink mohawk then?

Hey, how are Jim & Julie? ...must be coming up on the 1 yr anniversary!

MOM said...

First person I know that has lost 12 lbs in a week. You should be on of those Weight Watches sponsors and conduct the next meeting, Jermaine. What happened to Planet Fitness? Are you part of the population that doesn't go and still has the $10.00 a month taken from his credit card?

MaineMomKC5 said...

I love how you chose the colors from Dunkin' Donuts to graffiti your husband's face.

~Seth & Nancy~ said...

it must be something in the DD coffee that he drinks that made his hair funky colors...free advertising for them! :-)

we saw jim and julie a few weeks ago. they seem to be doing well. it will be one year on the 20th...2 days before that it will be 6 for us, crazy!

T5M said...

Here's another kicker: He is one of the "chosen ones" who doesn't suffer from "Asparagus Pee" when he eats asparagus. Blasted!