Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Dirty Laundry

Last month Dirt and I had one of our worst arguments ever. It was really bad. I don’t mean to air all of our dirty laundry, but I finally confessed this story to Audra yesterday and she implored me to blog it.

Before I begin, I will say that we’re normally a sane and happy couple and every disagreement that we’ve ever had has been Dirt’s fault in some way shape or form, and this one was no different.

It was Sunday morning (this is not starting out good, is it?). I was ready for church and Dirt was lagging behind (as usual). I was nagging him (as usual) to get his butt in gear. This seemed to be particularly annoying to him, so he suggested for me to go to church without him if I didn’t want to be late. However, this suggestion was particularly annoying to me. Then he questioned why I cared about being late since I hadn’t even been to church in a few weeks. I took great offense to this statement and I stormed out saying that I wasn’t going to church at all! Then I drove off to an undisclosed location and he went to church.

Fast forward a few hours and Dirt tried to make up with me. Sort of. I can’t remember what I said, but I’m sure that whatever it was, it wasn’t wrong. Then Dirt said that since I didn’t go to church, I proved his point about me not caring if I went to church. [me = fuming] I told him that his logic was insane because if I didn’t want to go in the first place, I wouldn’t have woken him up and tried to get him out of the house on time. That's not the behavior of someone who doesn't want to go someplace! I then explained that I didn’t go to church because I was mad at him and didn't want to go to church filled with anger.

However, he thought this was ridiculous, and told me that I was just looking for an excuse not to go. Then I referenced scripture about not going to church when you’re mad at someone and then he told me that I was taking the passage of context. By this time we’re “speaking” VERY loudly and the conversation was VERY heated. That’s when the “Christian attacks” came out, and we were escalating into a “who is a better Christian” realm. “Well, I pray with the kids at night!” “No, I pray with the kids at night!” – mind you, the neighbors can probably hear us at this point. ..Embarrassing...

It was ugly. Really ugly. Like the kind of ugly that takes a day or two to really get over.

All over what? Nothing. Oh the irony, fighting over who was more Christian. Jesus must’ve been real proud of us. I can’t figure out if he was sitting back and laughing or crying at the scene.

So, this goes down as the stupidest argument that Dirt and I have ever had. To this day I still don’t even know what it was about. His lateness? My nagging? His questioning my desire to go to church? The fact that I stormed out of the house and didn’t go? I have no idea. But whatever it was, rest assured that was all Dirt’s fault.

So now that I have bared my soul, it’s time for you to tell me about the stupidest thing you and your beloved have ever argued about.


Audra said...

Matt and I had "the worst fight we have ever had" the other morning at 5:30AM. I am pretty exhausted overall from the entire renovation project (78 days and counting) so it has been harder and harder for me to get out of bed in the AM. I set the alarm for 5:15 because I needed to get up and do some photography work. I use my iPhone as the alarm. When the alarm went off the phone was in Matt's hand and he told me it was time to get up. I said ok and then proceeded for the next 30 minutes or so to doze on and off. Every few minutes or so Matt would tell me it was time to get up. Around minute 30 I cuddled up next Matt and he asked me why I set the alarm for 5:15 if I wasn't going to get up until 6. I told him I did it because I knew he would take care of me, that if I didn't get up right then he would try to wake me up, but I could hear the frustration in his voice. So I cuddled up more next to him and he kept going on and on about how he didn't understand this and why wasn't I getting up. Apparently my not getting up was really bothering him. Then in a flash I was giggling because what he said was "but this is so inefficient"

Honestly, I am drained of energy, haven't slept in in weeks and am just overall tired - inefficient is the least of our problems right now. So he said he was just going to get up, which he did and I said I was getting up and he should go back to sleep - after all we didn't have to leave for 2 hours. He said, in a grumpy voice, "Its too late now". I pulled on some pants and just looked at him and shook my head - honestly he was being ridiculous. So we both went downstairs and I got in the shower - this is where I really got mad! I am doing the best I can getting out of bed in the AM and if he doesn't like it then he can stay home!!!!!!!! when I got out of the shower he came in to apologize but before he could say that I told him to stay home if he didn't like it and that I set the alarm for 5:15 so I could get up for 6 and that if I set my alarm for 6 I wouldn't get up til 6:45 and that he could just stay home.

He apologized and I said fine and he said "can I have a hug" to which I said "No I am mad at you" and that is likely what made it the worst fight we have ever had. I was mad at him and I said it and he went back to bed...when he woke up an hour later he informed me that was the worst fight we had ever had and that he was sorry and by then I was ok with it....

This girl just needs some more sleep I guess

BostonWriter said...

Wow - last week was the spousal argument week. Ours was an extended-famiily-related tiff that was brewing for YEARS. (Rooted back to when we first started dating at the tender age of 19.) Everything finally came to the surface last week and was not pretty. Had a rough couple of days, some fairly intense conversations after the kiddos turned-in for the night and lots of repetition until we were able to see each others' point of view. In the end it all worked out but it was a heck of a road getting there! Thanks for sharing... here's to more harmonious weeks ahead. :)

MaineMom said...

Shaun and I don't fight...we just take silly pictures of each other.

I remember our first fight Erin. We were living in KW, and we were supposed to go on a booze cruise. I was going to wear a skirt and you got made at me for wanting to wear a skirt. You went on the booze cruise and I stayed home. Then you came back boozed from said cruise - with I believe three "boys" in tow.

Grandma said...

Forget the arguments! One month from now, you won't even remember what they were about. Anyway, 99.9% of all "fights" are the male's fault!

T5M said...

LOL - that is so funny Wendy - I remember that fight! Yeah, I was pissed cause you were going to wear a skirt! LOL...I'm cracking up as I type this!! I was like, "why do you want to wear a skirt on a boat?"

LOL! Tears rolling down my cheeks.

We made up when I brought three boys back (none of which was the one that invited me on the boat to begin with). What a mess!

MaineMom said...

Some men bring flowers home after a brought me three boys.


K-Sea said...

mainemom-they were losers I 'm sure

Wendy said...

K-Sea, when I say them, I said, "These ain't no Shaun P. Casey."