Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Observations from the Field, er..Truck:

Over the last few days I’ve had the opportunity to drive Dirt’s truck while my car has been in the shop. Here are a few of my observations:

  • It takes me no less than 7 tries to back out of a parking garage space

  • Surprisingly, I don’t take offense when I see one of those dreadful decals of a young boy urinating on a Ford sign (plastered on the back windows of Dodge & Toyota trucks).

  • I turn my nose up at people who drive smaller trucks like Rangers and Tacomas. I think thoughts like, “and you call yourself a man” or “Oh, got your wife’s truck today, huh?”

  • People say things like “nice truck” and “that’s a whole lotta machinery you got there”.

  • Dirt gets a sparkle in his eye when he sees me driving it.

  • I secretly admire people who drive Ford 250s and 350s and wonder if they look down on me in my 150. I think those drivers are probably very hairy. Then I feel sorry for them, because I know what gas costs, and they’re getting less mileage than I am. I feel part of a brotherhood of gas guzzlers who are getting mistreated by big oil companies.

  • Wendy and I are convinced that it transforms into a dyke-mobile when we’re in it together

  • Since the truck doesn’t have EZPass, I have gotten the opportunity to stop at tollbooths. I really enjoy the tollbooth workers, they’re very nice and they have great manners and usually wish me a great day.

  • I am self conscious whenever I see a hybrid car; I think the driver hates me.

  • I feel like I’m going to scrape the roof of it on the ceilings in the parking garage, but I never do.
  • I feel safer and smaller when I drive it. …and dumber, but usually only when I stop for gas.


MaineMom said...

I suppose the part that makes it a "dyke-mobile" is where I'm sitting right next to you and you have your arm around me.

Shaun gets a twinkle in his eye when I drive his truck as well. Men are weird...

T5M said...

..and when you sit on my lap.

..and we attach a rainbow decal and a pink triangle sticker on the back window.

Audra said...

the driver of the hybrid does not hate you but she doesn't love you in that truck either
there is no reason for a three car family

Grandma said...

Sounds like 90% of you likes that big truck!