Tuesday, November 11, 2008

29 & 30

I realize that this post may be a little trivial, but I can't help myself. Thirty had to happen. I put on a nice-nice face for all of our guests on Sunday and pretended like 28 was good. But inside, 28 tormented me. Twenty-eight sucks. The goal was 30 shoeboxes, people. Thirty. Not 28.
Fortunately, Wendy had a couple of shoeboxes laying around. The choices were: kiddie shoe boxes from Will's sneakers or these monsters, a wide-width size 12. I went with the monsters. I figured that once the children were done opening the gifts inside, the boxes could easily be turned up-side-down and used as living quarters for a family of four.
I'm not kidding. See, this is a regular sized explorer, er..person standing next to them. They really were huge.

Which made for an interesting trip to Rite Aid in search of things to fill them with. I was admittedly nervous about filling them, until we found the stuffed animal isle. That's where my fears turned to joy. "The kids who get these boxes are going to have the biggest stuffed animals in their country!" (I know that sounded competitive, but it was more in the spirit of "good for them"). Yeah...

See that pink wine-bottle shaped lotion? That was an unopened bottle that I stole, er..borrowed (permanently) from Amelle. She got these for Easter. It has a really strong perfume smell that I'm sure some other mother will not appreciate as much as I don't. I thought I was really clever about "re-purposing it" by slipping it into the girl box until Avery called me out on it. "Hey, isn't that Amelle's? What are you gonna do, just give her stuff away?"

"Um...Well she has two bottles and the other one is still almost full, don't you think it's a little unfair that Amelle has two bottles of lotion that she doesn't even use, when there are little girls with ashy skin on the other side of the planet?"

I never said I was a good person. I'm actually terrible.

...though I will admit that I didn't send these particular kids any atomic fire balls, so there is some decency that's way down in there somewhere. That little bit of decency is called "The Holy Spirit".

I might've been a little bit overzealous about the size of the stuffed animals. The larger of the two boxes required four rubber bands in order to stay shut. When the (un)fortunate recipient opens it, I'm quite certain that the bear will eject from the box in a jack-in-the-box-like fashion, with such velocity that it could, literally, take him out.
I mean, I'm hoping this won't happen, but it could. I'm just sayin'.

Which is why I thought it would be important to put personalized notes inside each box. These notes contained elaborate apologies for any bodily injuries that might occur by opening them. There was also a special note to the dear mother of the highly perfumed, yet supple-skinned, 5-9 year old girl who receives my daughter's unopened bottle of lotion, which simply reads, "I'm sorry".

...and, yes, it will take at least seven baths to rid your daughter of her new scent.



K-Sea said...

Thats my shoe box!

MaineMom said...

Oops...I didn't tell Shaun we were giving away his beloved shoe box. He used to make forts out of that shoe box. Sometimes he'd get in it and, with the top open, pretend he was a fighter pilot fighting the Viet Cong in a merciless battle of good vs. evil.

Oh well.

T5M said...

Was he on the good side or the evil side?

T5M said...

...and btw, are those KLOGS really "WOW Komfortable"?

Owlhaven said...

Great job on the boxes! Thanks for the link in your sidebar!


Lo said...

this post was not trivial at all!!!! in fact i'm totally wowed that you did what you set out to do. wait. that came out wrong. i mean. i'm wowed that you said, forget that! i'm doin' it! and you did it. sounds simple, but oh, it never is...

anyway, i tagged you for the Kreativ Blog award in my post today. pass on the fun! fill it out! you totally deserve it. i adore reading all about your wild antics with your family. and how compassionate and just plain awesome you are.

MaineMom said...

Since he's such a stand up guy, he's on the side of good.

Yes, those Klogs are really WOW Komfortable! I love them so.

And boy, have you really got people fooled, eh? Good job!