6a: Hear toddler footsteps running down the hall. Seconds later, Maya is climbing over Dirt's head and situating herself snugly between us. She demands juice and any one of these previously tivo'd programs: Backyardigans, Dora, Diego, Hi-5, Hip Hop Harry or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
6:45a: I reluctantly draw one of my legs out from under my cocoon of covers and let it drop to the floor. The other foot follows shortly after.
6:45a - 7:15a: A LOT goes on during this time frame, it all seems like a blur. I get in the shower, one of us hollers into the older kids to get up, Dirt irons. Then I iron and Dirt gets in the shower (sometimes), then one of us reminds the older kids to get dressed, brush hair, brush teeth, we chase Maya around, capture her and dress her, I sometimes look in the mirror and try to get a straight part, Dirt shaves, I threaten the kids that if they don't get downstairs they're going to miss breakfast. It's insanity.
7:20a: Dirt heads out the door, hits Dunkin Donuts for a large extra extra, and then the highway where he will be greeted by about a zillion other commuters. He rolls into work at around 9a.
7:20a: I pack lunches while the older kids moan about breakfast options. Avery usually gets his own cereal. Amelle wants me to give her a run down of the day's specials (Cereal, toast, bananas, yogurt, granola bars, frozen waffles, English muffins, oatmeal). Same flippin' choices every day.
While I'm packing lunches I also make oatmeal for Maya. Sometimes she wants to "help", which complicates and slows down the process. Sometimes she also pees herself (or worse) during this time.
7:30a: older kids get their snacks and a bottle of water for their backpacks and head into the car. On a good day, no one forgets anything inside and we're successfully back out of the driveway. On a not-so-good day, we can make anywhere from 1 to 3 trips back inside for various almost-forgotten items.
7:40a: drop off Maya
8:00a: drop off older kids. As I pull out of the school parking lot I call Dirt for a victory celebration chat. "We made it through another day!" I proclaim. Then he reminds me that it's only 8 in the morning. He loves to rain on my parade like that.
9:00a: roll into work.
I have this nagging suspicion that mornings are suppose to be less chaotic than this. Is this realistic? I often feel like a drill Sergeant trying to get new (retarded) recruits through an extremely difficult obstacle course. "Move it, move it, move it!" "put matching socks on!", "belt through all the belt loops", "Wipe the toothpaste off your chin!", "zip your fly!"So I guess I'm wondering what time you wake up in the morning and what your morning routine consists of? Just looking for a slice of normalcy here, don't overwhelm me. In fact, if your morning routine involves exercising before work, please don't comment at all. I don't think I could handle that.
...Okay, you can comment, but instead of saying "work out", use a substitute term like, oh I don't know...like "eat chocolate". Yeah, that would do just fine.