As Friday transpired, it became obvious that dinner and a movie was going to be reduced to dinner or a movie. I didn’t get home until 6:15. The movie was scheduled to start at 7:05.
Dirt, being the gentleman that he is, offered me the choice of deciding if I wanted to have a nice dinner somewhere or go see a movie. I opted for the movie (I stink at making decisions).
As we headed out the door, my mom suggested that we stop at Boston Market to pick up a quick bite to eat before the movie. “They have vegetarian options”, she cheerfully offered.
We were off. Footloose and kid-free! On the way, I found myself checking the Entertainment book to see if there were any coupons for Boston Market. We are so married. There is nothing “date-like” about checking for coupons. The mere fact that we even own an Entertainment coupon book is sort of sad. In some states, joint ownership of an Entertainment coupon book is as binding as a marriage certificate.
When we arrived at Boston Market, I realized that I had never before eaten there. Boston Market is a funny place on a Friday night; it’s like the lonely guy club. I mean, where else can single guys go to get an almost-genuinely home cooked meal, complete with a protein, two starches and a vegetable (apparently they're not up to speed on the Food Pyramid yet). Boston Market is like Thanksgiving every day of the year. They even have that strange sweet potato dish with the marshmallows on top! Seriously.
Dirt and I scoffed down our meal in 15 minutes flat and hightailed it over to the movie theatre. Dirt dropped me off so that I could run in and procure tickets while he parked (another married couple move). As I made my way through crowds of tweeners, tight pants, Ugg boots and black eyeliner came at me from every direction. I inched up to the counter, only to have my coupon scornfully appraised by the ticket boy and then rejected because my movie was sold out.
I fell to the floor and began sobbing. No I didn’t. I called Dirt and broke the news to him and he began sobbing. After I consoled him I learned that even though I had been in line for 12 minutes, he still hadn’t located a parking spot. Unbeknownst to us, our date night coincided with the Twilight opener. Who knew?
At 7:10 we decided to go to Popovers in Portsmouth for coffee and dessert in hopes of salvaging the night. Popovers was fine except that Dirt’s coffee was undrinkably strong and I was preoccupied with trying to figure out if the two guys at the corner table were gay or just "artsy". They were wearing scarves and had their legs tightly crossed. I ponder such things.
At 7:45 it felt like it was time to go home. “Let’s just hang out a few more minutes so that the kids will be in bed when we get home”, I plotted.
When we arrived home at 8:30, the kids were all still awake and fully clothed. According to my mother, the kids claimed that they didn’t have any pajamas. I’m not sure why this seemed believable to her, but it did.