This morning I was behind a PT Cruiser. This particular PTC had a sticker on it, indicating that they were headed to the same place I was headed, the kids' school. I could see the back of the driver’s head and another little head bobbing in the back seat; a mother and a kid about the age of my kids, I deduced. We were at a stop sign waiting for traffic to pass, which gave me far too much time to think. This is never a good thing for me.
“Hmmm…could I ever be friends with someone who drives a PT cruiser? Boy, that sounds shallow. It’s not that the car isn’t good enough for me, or that it indicates a lack of social stature, 'cause Lord knows, I’m nothing fancy, but it’s the judgment piece. I mean what kind of judgment does the person who buys one of these things have? Could I let my kids ride with a driver who has such judgment? What if this same lack of discernment caused them to…oh I don’t know…ride the wrong way on a one-way street? That would be bad.”
PT Cruiser drives off, I follow behind.
But then something interesting happens. The PT Cruiser turns off onto another road. Now I know they’re headed to the same destination as me, so I assume that they're taking a short cut. Then my pride jumps in.
“How can someone who drives a PT Cruiser know a quicker, shorter way to get to school?”
I was livid.
Blasted! This woman was full of short cuts!
As we got closer to the school I passed her again, this time she was waiting at a red light, while I was under a green light passing through in front of her. I could taste sweet victory on my lips. I looked for her in my rear view mirror but didn’t see her behind me before I made my next turn, ever getting closer to the school.
I was backed up in a long line of cars just two streets away from the school. Unfortunately, I knew that there were other ways to get to the school, and being stuck in a long line of construction traffic was killing me. The school is nestled inside a maze of side streets, and a shrewd parent who knew about the ongoing construction, could’ve easily planned a route to avoid delays. Could she have outsmarted me in the eleventh hour of the race? (well, I suppose it wasn’t “technically” a race since she had no idea that I even exist). I hopefully watched the cars pile up in the line behind me, but none were the PT Cruiser.
I took a deep breath and proceeded, checking every side street I passed. I turned into the home stretch with uncertainty. As I proceeded down the long driveway of the school campus, I watched each car that passed me on their way out to ensure that she had not already made the drop off. None were the PT Cruiser. I made my way to the circle, dropped off the kids and hoped that I’d see the PT Cruiser pulling in as I was exiting.
And I did. She was 8 cars behind me. Yes, I counted. Twice (precision is very important). Hey, I warned you about me. I’m disturbed.
As I passed this woman (who was paying absolutely no attention to me), I looked at her, smiled, and thought “you poor woman”. I am 100% serious.
What is wrong with me?