Sunday, December 28, 2008

One Little Bear

Last week, during lunch with 3 of my female co-workers, the topic of "affairs" came up. One of my co-workers was telling us about two of her friends who are going through marital strife due to extra-marital affairs.
That's when I opened my big trap, "Dirt could never get away with having an affair, he's too careless. I can always tell what he's up to because he leaves tracks everywhere he goes. In fact, he can't even hide Christmas presents. Last week I took his truck during the snow storm and saw a little bear in Maya's car seat that said 'JARED, Galleria of Jewelry' on it. Duh, why would he give that to Maya to play with right before Christmas? Obviously I'm getting jewelry for Christmas".
"...And if I don't, then I'm going to have some questions!"

My girlfriends laughed and shook their heads at my husband's carelessness. Way to ruin a good surprise.

Fast forward to Christmas morning. Dirt gave me some great gifts, all the things I wanted. Then I spotted it, the small wrapped box. I smiled to myself and quietly pondered whether I should act totally surprised or fess up about the bear. I decided that I'd give him a good Christmas surprise reaction, but then tell him about the bear later.

I peeled back the paper on the neatly wrapped box and found myself staring at a Barnes and Noble gift card. Okaaaay. I looked back under the tree, in search of another small box. Nope. I smiled at Dirt, he smiled back. "Do you like everything", he asked. "Yup, you?", I smiled. "Yup".

"Um...where's my jewelry?" I asked.

Dirt looked utterly perplexed. "What do you mean?"

Then I told him about the bear and he laughed heartily at my ignorance. "Maya brought that bear home from daycare last week. I didn't know she had it in her hand when I picked her up, I saw it when I went to take her out of the truck. Did you even look at it?'s all raggedy - you can tell that thing isn't new. And do you really think that if I did get you jewelry, I would've given that bear to Maya?"

"Um, yeah.", I weakly smiled. "I didn't inspect the thing, I didn't want to see it at all to begin with." (How was I suppose to know about the pilled t-shirt, the loose threads, or the blue ink on the right paw?) .
" you have to go buy me some jewelry so that my co-workers don't think that you're cheating on me. It doesn't have to be anything expensive, a silver chain or something."
That's not going to happen.


MaineMom said...

D'oh! Maybe next year you'll get the BIG one....

DanThoms said...

Ha ha ha, that is so funny. So much for your deduction skills eh. Good thing you didn't find a teddy bear from the Porsche dealership. That would have been a huge letdown.

Lo said...

hehehehehehe so hilarious!!!!!!! so funny.

~Seth and Nancy~ said...

:-D too funny!! you DO have a big anniversary coming up!

Grandma said...

Never can be tooooooo careful. Check for other signs. (just kidding)

I love that story. What happened on Monday with your co-workers? This story hasn't ended yet!

K-Sea said...

Now the jingle ♫ IT CAN ONLY BE JARED...... ♫ is stuck in my head.