Saturday, June 13, 2009

3rd Official Ethiopian Adoption Update (Part I)

Last time we discussed this topic, I told you that I thought I would gain clarity about adoption on my trip to Ethiopia and I promised an update when I returned. Since then many people have asked me what we're going to do about adopting, and my response falls somewhere in between an apologetic smile and an awkward sand kick - kinda like what it's like for people who are unsuccessfully trying to conceive, to answer "are you pregnant yet?".

So the long and short of it is I am not pregnant. Not really. Unless of course it were possible for me to get pregnant without Dirt's help. So if I am pregnant, Wendy is the father.

Just to recap, last fall we began the process of adopting. At that point, we agreed on a 4 year old boy from Ethiopia. But everything about the process was wrong, and finally Dirt put the brakes on due to economic concerns.

While I was in Africa I met a boy that absolutely stole my heart. I literally don't know how I'm even here typing this because I have no heart, B is probably off somewhere in Ethiopia playing soccer with it. And, he wasn't four - our magical adoption age. In fact I met lots and lots of four year old boys and never once thought about any of them as my son. Never not once.

I need to be clear here, I didn't go to Ethiopia to pick out a child. That was never my intention, and in fact, that's not how the adoption process generally works (the agency matches you with a child - you don't get to pick).

However, when you meet an orphan that you instantly connect with, youe heart can make it's own plans.

I probably would've been fine if stinkin' Wendy didn't whisper in my ear, "you have to adopt him". (This is how she impregnated me.) Then I began looking at him with mother eyes. Lets face it, I met close to 900 orphans, I was immune to feeling like I needed to adopt every beautiful face I met. In fact, I didn't think of it at all, until I met B. I met him the day before we left Ethiopia at an orphanage that I didn't want to go to. I almost made it out of Africa free and clear.

He said he was nine, but I was skeptical. I thought maybe 10-11. In Ethiopia, birthdays aren't "a thing" - no one really knows how old these kids are. However, I did know one thing, an 11 is too old for our family because it would mess with the birth order. Avery needed to remain the oldest; that was my rule.

BUT, then there was the shyly offered kiss on the cheek that made rules about who I can and can't love seem silly. We were taking a photo together and as the camera snapped, he quickly turned and plopped a kiss right on my cheek. A bold move by him, but I was done. In my head I began thinking things like, "B Moore - yeah that goes".

When I returned home I didn't broach the topic of adoption with Dirt right away, I figured that I needed to wait for my emotions to settled down so I could think logically about this. I did share my special connection with a boy I plan to sponsor (Bereket) and my beloved "B" with Dirt and the kids, as special children that I connected with who I hoped to remain in touch with. Their pictures went up on the fridge and they're names were mentioned at prayer times.

..this post is getting too long...story to be continued...

Bereket, our sponsor son. Isn't he the sweetest thing EVER?


"B"(yellow shirt) with his Auntie Wendy, playing with the ifart application. She didn't waste any time indoctrinating him with poop humor.


MaineMom said...

You crack me up. I did "impregnate" you, didn't I?

There's definitely quite a bit to consider here. We are here to support you however you may need it, and would welcome another child into our family with open arms!

Grandma said...

Erin, you are a special person. I love that your heart is so big that you have so much room for so many other people. He would be a special addition to our family.

If this is your birthday wish, I hope and pray that it comes true.

Happy Birthday!

Chris and Jess said...

You are a riot! I am hoping and praying for you!!! And, Happy Birthday!!!