Saturday, July 25, 2009


My last post revealed a video of Rachel Barkly, a woman who recently died of cancer at age 37. She left behind a life that had a lot of living left to do, as well as a husband and two small children. I don't normally watch video clips that I come across, but this one drew me in.

I've thought about this video several times and I will probably watch it again. It's that good.

One of the things I've pondered is the depth in which this video has touched me. And truly, I think it's because it digs into one of my deepest fears: leaving. Death doesn't phase me as much as leaving does. Death means I get to live with Jesus in paradise, and I'm cool with that. Leaving is much worse. Leaving means that my kids will miss me, and the mere thought of that breaks my heart.

I think this fear is tied to my deep connection to orphans. Maybe it's not the orphans so much as their moms, who died knowing that they were leaving. I have heard countless stories of moms who gave their children up for adoption, because it was important for them to know that their children would be cared for before they left.

If you are a mom, you understand this.

We can relate to Rachel Barkly, that's why her story touches us so deeply, but shouldn't we be just as touched by the millions of moms across Africa, and the world, who are leaving with no real certainty that their children will be fed, let alone loved? By all accounts, Rachel is in a much better position: she is married, she has a great support system, she is wealthy (by the world's standards) and she leaves knowing that her kids will be loved.

I think of B's mom and how difficult it must of been for her to leave. She knew she was leaving behind children who were "older" by adoption standards and getting them placed into loving families would be nothing short of a miracle.

I'm praying for a miracle.


Jillian and Crew said...

praying for the 5 million miracles needed in Ethiopia alone...

Grandma said...

You are not alone, Erin. I think that every decent Mom has the same fears. I did when you were growing up and I still do to a lessor degree.