Sometimes the waiting is unbearable. Today is one of those days.
The day began with hope. I prayed on the way to work and asked God to give me good news today. I went about my morning with an air of expectancy.
I usually email my caseworker on Tuesdays - just cause. I'm not sure why it works out that way, I suppose on Monday I'm trying to be patient and trust God, but by Tuesday my patience gives out and I feel the need to take matters into my own hands. Lord help me.
When today's email came back telling me "they're working on it" - I sighed...one of those long heavy sighs. This is basically the same response I received last week and the week prior.
I've made up some ground rules for myself so that I don't become too annoying to my caseworker. One of these self-imposed ground rules is that I am entitled to one status update email per week. Unfortunately this means that once I get the "they're working on it" email, I have to wait until the next week to ask again.
This is probably why today I'm particularly broken up over the wait. In conjunction with me waiting longer than planned, I'm up against a huge deadline. The courts close on August 8th for 8 weeks. If we don't get in before the 8th, then nothing happens until October. Nothing. Period. Each day I wait, the already extremely narrow window of opportunity gets even more narrow.
I have been asking God and praying fervently that He would move mountains to get B home in September (he turns 15 in September). If we don't get submitted by August 8th...well...um...that's just not gonna happen.
If it doesn't happen, well...then...God will still be God. He will still be awesome. He will still be perfect and worthy of all my trust, adoration, and praise. I am trying hard to trust His timing. I know He knows best. Lord help me trust you with everything I have and let me find peace in knowing that your timing is absolutely perfect.