Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Today is B's birthday (a story for another day). Normally when one of my kids has a birthday I'm busy figuring out cake and gifts and how to make the day special. Today was different. Despite my prayers for him to be home by the time his birthday rolled around, he was not. This was the birthday email I sent him:

Happy Birthday sweet boy!

On your birthday I am reflecting on a few things that I'd like to share with you:

1) The preciousness of your life. Read Psalm 139 today. You will see that you were precious to God before you were born. He tells us that you are wonderfully made! His work is good - he made you perfect in his eyes and you are precious to Him who created you. He knows the plan for your life - all the pages of your life were written before even one of them came to be. I know that you have suffered pain in your life. I know that your life with your birth-mom wasn't easy and your life at Kolfe has not been good - but God will use those experiences somehow, someway for your good and His glory. Romans 8 tells us that he works all things together for the good of those who love Him. He is at work in your life! He has a beautiful plan for you and it is good!

2) Your past and your future. Today, as we celebrate your birth I think about your past. I think about your birth-mom who gave you life. I think about her carrying you in her belly and her labor to have you. I think about her holding you and carrying you and kissing your forehead when you were a precious little baby. Oh how she must have loved you - you were such a beautiful baby boy! When I think about some of the hard times you had with her my heart hurts that you didn't feel loved. I think about how difficult it must've been when she died. How your little heart must've been confused and sad. I wish I had known you then so that I could've lifted you up and held you in my arms and told you that I love you and that I would be your new mom and I would take you home with me and never, ever, ever leave you. I wish I could've told you back then about your future in America - where you will one day live. I wish I could've told you about your new mom and dad that love you - and your little brother and two little sisters, your grandmas, your aunts and uncles, and your church family - and all the love that so many people have for you. I wish we could go back to that day so I could hold you and tell you about all these great things that your future holds.

3) I think about where I was 15 years ago today - the day you were born. I was just meeting your dad. We met the year you were born. I fell in love with him when I met him and I knew we would someday marry. We had our first conversation about adoption in October of 1996 - while you were still a newborn baby. We had no idea when we dreamed about one day adopting - that our son had just been born on a distant continent halfway across the world. We did not know - but God knew! This was part of His plan!

4) I think about you today. I hope you have a fun day celebrating with your friends. My heart longs to have you here with us so that we could celebrate your birth together. I want to look you in the eyes and tell you how happy I am that you were born. I want you to know how good God is to give us such a special son. I want you to know that you are so loved and so precious to me and dad and we will always care about you and look after your best interests. We will help you choose the right direction in life. We will always pray for you. Me and dad will always love you.

I hope you know how precious you are. You are loved by God and you are loved by your family!



~Seth and Nancy~ said...

i especially like number 3 :-) happy birthday "b"...i'm sure he'll have a blast celebrating with you guys in years to come!

Ellie Jewett said...

aww, Erin, that made me cry! you are such a specail and wonderful mother. :D

Carrie said...

Oh. my. goodness. WHERE are my tissues?!?! I'm reading this right in the middle (and I mean IN THE MIDDLE) of writing Matewos... Oh, good grief. And how I just the other day prayed that I didn't feel like it was where God had us headed at the moment, but that if He had it in mind, I'd be open to adoption. So I'm crying for your B, and I'm crying for my M. :) I can't wait 'til B is home with you.

Danae said...

Such a sweet email...he is lucky to have you as a mom and B seems to be a sweet heart as well!!

I love this quote...not sure where I heard it....

"not flesh of my flesh nor bone of my bone but miraculously still my own"