I enjoy the little world of ignorant bliss in which I live. I stay away from the news, scary movies, TV dramas and anything else that might give me an indication that the world really is an awful place. I have developed an affinity for a drama-free existence and I strive to remain outside of the drama-zone at all times. I’m not built for drama. My constitution is weak and unable to handle it. Stress has her way with me and she often brings along her ugly side-kick, fear, and they gang up on me and wreak havoc. I get headaches, heart palpitations, stomach aches, take shallow breaths – I can’t sleep, I feel anxious, overwhelmed, confused, and edgy. I overeat, withdraw, and generally feel like I’m going to keel over and die at any given moment. I’m a real prize to live with.
So, you can imagine my disposition when I received a call from our agency on Monday informing me that there was a “miscommunication” regarding our adoption. In fact, our adoption was not approved; the judge had issued a negative opinion on our case because there was a document missing from our file. [gulp]
I went numb.
Our agency planned to track down the missing document this week and the judge was scheduled to review our case again on Friday. Our agency expected us to pass on Friday. Five long days away.
How does this happen? Why? What the heck? All very good and valid questions – but I couldn’t ask them. The answers didn’t matter anyway. All I could do is look to my Heavenly Father who controls all things and say, “I trust You” (Proverbs 3:5).
I couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone about what was happening. I smiled weakly as people continued to offer “congratulations” and ask if I had heard anything about when we could bring him home. I wanted to hide under my covers (in fetal position with thumb in mouth) until Friday. It’s only by the grace of God that I was walking around faking my way through life. (Isaiah 25:9)
I spoke to Biruk on Wednesday and of course he wanted an update on when we would get our Embassy appointment. Yikes. Dirt and I were in complete agreement that we were not going to tell him what had happened. We wanted to protect him from the disappointment that we were feeling. Why put him through this when all could potentially be resolved by Friday? I honestly didn't even want to know.
Last night I shared our story with a few of my close prayer warriors because I knew they would intercede on our behalf and to quote a bumper sticker I recently saw, “PRAYER CHANGES STUFF”. I needed peace and I needed our case to pass today. Since God hears the prayers of the righteous (Proverbs 15:29) and He delights in giving us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4) – these girls would hold us up in prayer and get the job done.
Today our caseworker called with her wonderful sing-songy voice. She said “Congratulations…you’re adoption is approved”. Are you sure? “Yes”.
Praise God. Our official adoption date is 1/13/12. Hallelujah.
Next stop: Embassy.
My adjusted prediction for travel to Ethiopia: March 22 (but of course, praying for sooner!).